First Baby vs. Second Baby: My Experiences with Sleep
- Charlotte Evans
- Mar 23
- 3 min read
When I was pregnant with my first child, sleep deprivation was my biggest worry. I had heard all the horror stories from well-meaning family and friends - sleepless nights, endless rocking, and sheer exhaustion. I was determined to do everything I could to set up healthy sleep habits for my baby from day one. Fast forward to my second baby, and while I had much less time to research and prepare, I had something I didn’t have the first time around - confidence.
My approach to supporting each of my baby’s with sleep was quite different, not because I believed in different methods, but because my circumstances were different. Here’s how my journey with sleep evolved from my first baby to my second…
First Baby: All the Time in the World
When I was pregnant with my first baby it was during lockdown, and with so much time on my hands, I researched as much as I could about baby sleep - the science of sleep, gentle methods to support my baby with sleep, and how to set a good routine. I don’t usually enjoy reading, but sleep became my obsession. I wanted to understand baby sleep inside and out, so I could prepare as much as possible to avoid sleep deprivation!
When my baby arrived, I had a gentle and gradual approach to his routine and independent sleep - I still wanted those snuggly newborn cuddles as much as possible!. I focused on small, manageable habits, like practicing sleeping in his Moses basket - even for just a few minutes a day. The end goal was for him to learn to settle without needing me to rock or feed him to sleep every time.
Despite the myths that breastfed babies don’t sleep as well as bottle-fed babies, I exclusively breastfed, and sleep was never an issue. I made sure to establish a solid routine, and as a result, he never experienced any major sleep regressions.
Now, as a pre-schooler, he has a positive association with sleep. He understands that sleep helps him feel rested, and we’ve never had to deal with major bedtime battles. Looking back, I think my dedication to understanding sleep early on really paid off.
Second Child: Less Time, More Confidence
By the time my second baby arrived, life was a little more chaotic. Now, I had a toddler to care for, which meant I didn’t have the same luxury of time to dedicate to naps and routines. But this time around, I knew what I was doing.
Instead of worrying over every detail, I focused on the basics of good sleep. I followed the same gentle sleep guidance, ensuring my baby got the right balance of feeds, naps, and wake windows. However, practicing cot naps was much harder this time around. I had a busy toddler who needed my attention, and I couldn’t always dedicate time to settling my baby in his cot during the day.
To make it work, I prioritised one cot nap a day - usually when my toddler was napping or happily entertained with a toy or some colouring. At the weekend when my husband was home, I took advantage of the extra help and focused on practicing more cot naps.
During the night, I was consistent with my settling approach. I knew when my baby needed feeding and when he just needed comfort. If he woke up but wasn’t hungry, I reassured him in other ways rather than automatically feeding him back to sleep.
At six months, we moved him into his own room. Unlike my first baby, he did experience some early waking and bedtime battles as a toddler, but because I understood sleep, I knew exactly what was causing it and how to fix it. A few tweaks to his routine and some consistency, and he was back on track in no time.
What I Learned from Both Experiences
Looking back, the biggest difference between my two experiences wasn’t the method I used, but my mindset. With my first, I was focused on preparation, research, and following every step perfectly. With my second, I had less time but more trust in the process. I knew that sleep setbacks were normal, and how to resolve them if they happened.
Both of my children have grown up with healthy sleep habits - not necessarily because I did everything perfectly, but because I stayed consistent and confident. Sleep doesn’t have to be a struggle, and while every baby is different, understanding the basics of sleep and staying patient can make a world of difference.
Need support with your little one's sleep?
Comments